Breakfast Sandwich on a Budget

Essential ingredients for a breakfast sandwich on a budget:

‘Borrow’ one from work. Sure, they were originally meant for on air guests and hosts, but they’re all long gone. Now, with the lights dimmed, cables coiled and black VIP curtains removed, they are up for grabs.

And while you’re at it, grab a muffin and few bottles of water as well. Nothing fits in your tiny bag, so you stuff what you can’t hold in your jacket. Deflect the looks of those at the casino next door, which you must walk through to get to your car. Try and wipe the dust off your knees, minimize the obnoxious crinkling of the wrappers, and remain as inconspicuous as possible.

You’ve bought the smallest possible brick at the store, to try and save money. This, however, does nothing to slow down speed of consumption, only drawing the inevitable date of restocking sooner. There is no cheese slicer, so you hack at it with a steak knife. Chunks of uneven cheese are no less appetizing.

Again, you buy the cheapest dozen you can find. Which is not really all that cheap, cause you’re at a health food store. Which means that a) I pay more then is probably necessary, b) cheapest means non-free range/riddled with guilt, and c) imagined judgemental scanning by the cashier.

Nothing special here, just an impulse purchase avocado.


Toast bagel in oven (….cause I mean, toasters are at least $12..). Fry egg on stove. Smash avocado. And just pile everything together.

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